Why shouting isn't the key to being heard

The introverts guide to getting the right people to listen to you.

There was a time when I thought that to get ahead in business or life; I had to be louder. You know, push harder, speak faster, and try to compete with the most dominant voices in the room.

Not easy for a natural-born introvert with a tendency to blush bright red when speaking up or sound like I was about to burst into tears. The more I tried to be someone I wasn't, the more drained I felt, like I was putting on this mask that just didn't fit.

So, I stopped. I gave up trying to shout over everyone else, and for a while, it made me feel sad like I had failed in some way. It wasn't until I set up my own business, focussed on helping women in business tell their stories, that I realised something huge: I didn't need to be the loudest to be heard. I needed to understand who I was talking to and connect with them in a way that mattered to them.

That shift changed everything for me. There's so much power in being quiet but intentional, knowing when to speak, and learning how to shape what you say so it really sticks. And I know I'm not the only one who's felt this way. So many women—especially introverts—feel this pressure to be more "out there" just to be noticed. But honestly, being quiet doesn't mean being ignored.

Being thoughtful, strategic, and true to yourself can still have a big impact. Let me show you how.

Debunking the myth: loud doesn't equal leadership.

In the early days of my career working in corporate, it became blatantly clear that the louder, more extroverted personalities were always the ones to scoop up all the attention, recognition, and leadership roles. My quiet colleagues, who kept themselves to themselves but got the job done (unlike many other loud people), regularly got overlooked for promotion. Now I'm sure things have improved, but that doesn't stop the niggling feeling that the really successful gang are the extroverts who, on paper, seem to have it all, whilst us timid mice are lucky with whatever scraps they leave behind. This, of course, is bollocks – let's look at the facts.

Emma Watson in her role as UN Women Goodwill Ambassador. Angela Merkle. Barack Obama, Even Keir Starmer. These people with big influence aren't known for being loud or dominating a room. Instead, they've made their mark through thoughtfulness, careful communication, calm leadership and strategic choices. Their voices don't shout; they resonate. And that's because they lead with insight, understanding, and attention to detail.

Introverts bring a lot to the table—things like deep listening, careful thinking, and empathy, which are often overlooked but essential in business. It's not about who talks the most but who adds value to the conversation. And this is where your story can hold a lot of weight.

Know your audience, know your impact.

So we've established that it's about something other than how loud you are. What really matters is whether your message clicks with your audience. Connecting with people doesn't take volume; it takes understanding. Knowing who you're talking to and what matters to them is how you make a real impact.

For introverts, this is where the magic happens. You don't need to compete with louder voices if you really get your audience. What are they worried about? What are they trying to achieve? What keeps them up at night? When you understand these things, you can shape your story to speak directly to their concerns and aspirations – like you're holding up a mirror to their lives.

It's all about listening carefully—to your customers, your community, and the conversations around you, online and offline. When you tune into what's going on with people, you can respond with empathy and insight. And when you do that, your message will hit home, no matter how softly you say it.

Telling stories that stick

One of the most powerful ways to connect with people is through storytelling. And guess what? You don't need to be loud or forceful to tell a story that sticks. Some of the best stories quietly connect with people on a deep level, touching on their experiences and emotions.

Introverts are great at using storytelling to build rapport and trust without needing to take over the room. When your story reflects what your audience cares about—when it aligns with their worldview or journey—it creates a strong emotional connection. Whether talking to a team or pitching to a client, a well-told story will be remembered far more than a loud, shouted statement.

And here's the thing: your story doesn't need to be some epic tale. It just needs to be real, relatable, and authentic. That's what makes stories stick.

Make thoughtful communication your best friend.

Introverts really shine in smaller, more intimate settings. I should know—I am one. Introverts can showcase their depth of thought and authenticity in a one-on-one conversation or a small group discussion.

Instead of competing for airtime, focus on making an impact with what you say. Wait for the right moment, and when it comes, make sure your contributions are thoughtful and meaningful. When you present ideas in a way that invites people to think deeper, you leave a lasting impression—without ever needing to raise your voice.

Being strategic with your words is all about quality over quantity—saying less but ensuring each word matters.

The power of non-verbal communication

Remember, it's not just about what you say; it's how you say it. Body language, tone, and overall presence can make a huge difference. A calm, confident demeanour can grab attention without you even having to speak louder.

Things like eye contact, your posture, and even the pauses between your words can communicate confidence and authority. A well-timed pause can make your words carry more weight than if you tried to fill the space with chatter. And a steady, thoughtful tone? That can be way more powerful than shouting.

Introverts are naturally attuned to these subtle cues. So, lean into them—they're your superpower, along with your story, of course!

Building quiet confidence

One of the best things you can do as an introvert is to embrace your natural tendencies instead of trying to fit into a more extroverted mould. Confidence isn't about pretending to be something you're not; it's about knowing who you are and owning your strengths.

Introverts are often reflective and strategic. You like to process information before responding, and that's a huge asset. Celebrate those strengths! By focusing on what makes you uniquely you—whether it's thoughtfulness, emotional intelligence, or careful thinking—you can build a quiet confidence that speaks all the volumes you need.

Investing in your brand story will help you understand more about yourself and how to use your experiences to help others without fear. Even simple things, like reflecting on your past successes or reframing challenges, can help you build that quiet confidence over time.

Knowing when and how to speak up

Of course, there will be times when you need to speak up. This is especially important for women, as we've been told for so long not to speak out. For introverts, the key is knowing when and how to do it.

Choosing your words carefully often makes them even more powerful. When you pick the right moment to speak, people are likelier to listen because they know you've put thought into it.

Whether in a meeting, presentation, or negotiation, focus on clarity and purpose. When you speak with intention, your words will carry the influence you want.

Making a lasting impact but quietly

Sure, loud voices might get noticed first, but thoughtful, deliberate ones usually create lasting change.

As an introvert, you can create more profound, more meaningful connections with the people around you. You might not be the loudest, but you can definitely be the most impactful. You'll leave a mark that matters by embracing your strengths—understanding your audience, telling great stories, and communicating with intention.

Taking action

If you’ve ever felt like you need to be louder or more extroverted to succeed—take a deep breath and let that go. Instead, lean into your strengths, whether it's being thoughtful, strategic, or a great listener. You don’t need to shout to make an impact; you just need to be you.

Start small. In your next meeting, take the time to really listen, then share your insights when the moment feels right. Craft stories that connect with your audience. Trust that your voice—however quiet or loud it may be—has value. You’ll find that the more you embrace your natural approach, the more people will start to pay attention.

Your voice matters. It just doesn't need to be the loudest in the room to be heard.

I would love to hear from both introverts and extroverts - how do you make sure your voice is heard? What challenges do you face? Please leave a comment.