What I learnt on a recent stumble down memory lane.
And why not everything is best left in the past.
It’s a peculiar feeling, looking at a photograph of my mum only a few years older than my daughter is now. Not least because it’s hard to imagine a time when she wasn’t a fully grown parent but weirder still as I spotted something familiar in the background of the shot. A painting of a duck. Which now hangs outside our downstairs loo.
When my Grandpa finally waved goodbye last Christmas, at the grand old age of 102, I had an overwhelming sense of wanting to capture the memories of his and my Granny’s lovely cottage. With both gone, I’m all too aware how quickly even happy things can fade; the feeling of excitement as a small child exploring the nooks and crannies, the smell - a unique combination of moth balls, damp, daffodils and brill cream, the sounds of the rooks nesting in the tall trees opposite and the way the old-fashioned telephone would sound out one ring if you hit the right floor board at pace just before somersaulting across the double bed in my Grandparents bedroom.
I know material goods can never replace people but being surrounded by things that I know were so cherished by the people I loved, goes somewhere. Right now, I’m sat at my desk on Grandpa’s chair - he was a GP and I can only begin the imagine the impact he had on so many people’s lives sitting exactly where I am now. On my shelves, the twinkle of a little silver jug that belonged to my Granny. If I close my eyes, inhale deeply I swear I can still smell the cleaner she would so religiously rub into all her silverware, laid out on their dining table as I watched on in awe.
It’s often said that nostalgia can be a bad thing. Sure, nothing good is going to come from dwelling on past experiences with sadness, or willing that things could go back to how they once were. But, being able to think back with fondness, to keep happy memories alive in our hearts and our heads, I don’t see anything wrong with that. Do you?
The stories of our past make who we are today and the change we enact in the future. So why would we want to ignore them entirely?
Reflection is a powerful tool for business storytelling
I think we can all agree that the person at a party who goes on and on about all the things they HAVE done with no connection to the present is not one we’d want to be sat next to. But when someone tells us a story about where they’ve come from, how it’s impacted who they are now and how that’s guiding the vision they have for the future, now that’s someone I would happily top up my drink and pull up a chair for.
Take me for example. I didn't just wake up one day and pfft I was a storyteller. My life has taken a meandering path sometimes through luscious meadows but all too often through desolate wasteland occupied by angry bears and dark grey skies. But it’s been those difficult times, almost as much or even more, than the happy times, that has taught me about what’s important - not to anyone else, but to me. I’ve struggle for years, decades even with owning my voice and having the confidence to be who I really want to be. So now, when I work with other women to conquer their own fears and reservations around their story, I am able to draw now not only on my experiences to ensure empathy with them, but also to provide hope to them by reflecting on my own strengths (and often complete weaknesses) to overcome similar challenges.
If I had nothing to draw on, no real understanding of what it feels like to be afraid to speak out, take up space, talk your mind, why would anyone trust me to help them? Maybe I could - superficially - by spouting my years of expertise, but when that’s stripped back and my clients realise I couldn’t possible get what they’re going through, surely there would be nothing left of the relationship.
Looking back can help you better understand your purpose - giving you a solid foundation on which to set your future path.
When I talk about ‘purpose’ - why you do what you do - as one of the pillars of your brand story, it’s an area people often struggle with. “What if I don’t have a purpose?” “What if I just do what I do because I don’t know what else to do?” “What if I ended up here because I had no choice?”
Setting your purpose feels big. Like REALLY big. Like ‘I just can’t think about this anymore so I’m stick my fingers in my ears and sing la-la-la’ big But it doesn’t need to be. Taking the time to reflect on the past - not with rose tinted glasses, but with a degree of pragmatism and objectivity, can help you explore what’s happened to shape what you do now, what you believe in, what your value and ultimately the mark you want to leave on the world - whether that be something so audacious it changes everything or just making a difference to a small group of people.
How have your actions and the actions of others made you feel in what you do now?
Has something happened that made you so angry you vowed never to feel like that again? Or, like me, do your experiences motivate you to ensuring no-one else has to go through alone what you went through ?
Did a moment - happy, sad or even indifferent spark a thought that over time turned into an idea that turned into a business that twisted and pivoted to what you do now?
How has your past experience framed how you see the world now - or want to see the world? Reflecting on life events, have these changed your values, made you drop certain thoughts and prioritise others?
We can all get caught up the hum drum of the here and now or dream wistfully of a brighter future ahead (or not… note to self - MUST. STOP. DOOM SCROLLING!) but why not also take the time to think about where you’ve come from, how far you’ve made it so far and just how strong and resilient you have been - despite what all those pesky inner voices keep shouting at you. This is all storytelling greatness that your audience would love to hear about as they strive to get to know the person behind you brand aka. YOU!
For giggles and fairness to my mum, here are a couple of choice photos I found amongst hers….
