The fear I never admitted

And why this fear might be yours too

I’ve spent years helping women tell their stories. I’ve written a book about it, taught workshops on it, and built an entire business around it.

And yet, if I’m being completely honest, I spent far too long afraid of telling my own.

Not because I didn’t know how. Not because I didn’t believe in the power of storytelling. But because deep down, I carried a fear I never admitted, not even to myself.

A fear that I might not be heard.

That my voice would be drowned out.
That my contributions wouldn’t matter.
That no matter how much I put into the world, I might still be forgotten.

Ugh. Even writing that feels dramatic. But if I know one thing for sure, it’s this - if I felt it, you’ve probably felt it too.

The hidden fear of invisibility

I know I’m not alone in this.

For so many women, especially those of us in midlife, this fear isn’t just personal. It’s baked into the system.

It’s why we shrink in meetings.
It’s why we hesitate before speaking up.
It’s why we doubt our expertise, even when we’ve spent decades earning it.

And most dangerously? It’s why we stop telling our stories.

We convince ourselves that our experiences aren’t ‘big’ enough to share. That we need more credentials. That we should wait until we have everything perfectly figured out (spoiler alert: that day will never come)

And while we wait, the world moves on.

So let’s be blunt for a second, waiting doesn’t protect us.
Playing small doesn’t keep us safe.
And staying quiet won’t stop us from disappearing, it only guarantees it.

Why storytelling is the antidote to invisibility

When we share our stories, we reclaim space.

• When we talk about what we’ve learned, we prove we belong.

• When we own our journey, flaws, fuck ups, and all, we become undeniable.

• When we use our voice consistently, we train the world to listen.

And no, this isn’t just about marketing. This is about legacy.

Because if you don’t tell your story, someone else will.
Or worse, they won’t tell it at all.

So today, I want to challenge you:

What’s one thing you can do this week to take up more space?

Not in a loud, performative way. Not in a way that feels forced.

But in a way that’s yours.

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If you’re not sure where to start, here are three simple but powerful steps to begin rewriting your narrative, starting right now.

1. Clear space for your voice (before someone else fills it for you)

One of the biggest reasons we don’t feel heard? We let other things fill the space where our voice should be.

We default to saying ‘yes’ when we mean ‘no.’
We prioritise other people’s needs over our own.
We let self-doubt stop us before we’ve even started.

And then we wonder why we feel like we don’t have time or energy to do the things that actually light us up.

What to do:

• Say ‘no’ once, to an unnecessary request, to an unpaid favour, to anything that drains you.

• Block out 30 minutes this week just for your work, your writing, your business, your ideas. Treat it like a non-negotiable meeting and put it in your calendar.

• Notice where you shrink yourself. Do you downplay your expertise? Do you soften your opinions? Catch yourself and rewrite the moment in your head.

Why it works
When you carve out physical and mental space for your voice, you stop waiting for permission to use it.

2. Own one story that feels ‘too small’ to matter

Us women are brilliant at convincing ourselves that our stories need to be big, dramatic and groundbreaking to be worth telling.

That’s a lie.

Your audience doesn’t need a TED Talk. They need something real. Something they can see themselves in.

What to do:

• Write down one small moment that shaped you, something that shifted your thinking, changed your approach or proved your worth.

• Share it somewhere this week. It could be a LinkedIn or Insta post, a voice note to a friend or even just journalling for yourself.

• If you feel resistance, ask yourself: What am I afraid will happen if I share this? Then challenge that thought.

Why it works
The more you own your everyday stories, the more you train yourself to speak up naturally, without overthinking.

3. Ask for what you want (without apologising for it)

How often do you start a request with:

• “I don’t want to be a pain, but…”

• “I’m not an expert, but…”

• “Would it be okay if…”

This week, let’s cut that shit out.

What to do:

• Make one bold request. Ask for the sale. The opportunity. The podcast invite.

• Send the email you’ve been putting off. No over-explaining. No softening your ask. JFDI

• Notice where you downplay your worth. When you’re about to justify your expertise, stop yourself. Just own it.

Why it works
When you start asking for more, you start believing you deserve more. And others do too.

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Your voice is not optional. It’s essential.

If you’ve ever felt like you had to fight to be heard, you’re not imagining it.

But that doesn’t mean you have to accept it.

Today, this week, take one step toward reclaiming your space.
Because when you do?

You don’t just change your own life.
You shift the narrative for every woman who follows.

So tell me, have you ever felt like you had to fight to be heard?
What’s one small thing you’re going to do this week to claim your space?

Drop a comment, I’d love to hear your story.

Oh, and one more thing

I’m working on something that will help. A movement. A manifesto. Something that will make sure midlife women are never written out of the story again.

If that sounds like something you need, let me know in the comments or reply to this email.

Because we’re not done.
We’re just getting started.