Done pretending yet?

How knowing who you are actually makes your business easier (and your life way less exhausting)

Let’s be honest: pretending to be someone you’re not is bloody exhausting.

In my twenties (and a fair amount of my 30s!), I spent so much time worrying about how I looked, sounded and came across professionally that it basically became my second job, except nobody paid me overtime and the only perk was constant anxiety. Nice huh?

And guess what? It wasn’t even working. I still ended up in meetings where someone questioned if I was committed enough, simply because I couldn't make it to a 9am session (hello, single parenting and school drop-offs!).

Fast-forward twenty years (with far fewer f*cks left to give) and something finally clicked. Turns out, the secret to making business easier wasn’t about mastering a fancy sales pitch or pretending I had it all together. Nope. It was about dropping the act, figuring out who I really was and actually (gasp) being okay with it. Well, most of the time anyway.

Because here’s what I realised. When you stop playing a role in other people’s stories, you free yourself up to write your own. And trust me, it’s way easier to run a business when you’re not faking it.

But I totally get it.

Going from knowing that to actually doing it is the tricky bit, especially when you're juggling everything from client calls to remembering birthdays, last-minute panics about forgotten PE kits and dealing with all manner of changes to your body and mind (hellooo perimenopause) whilst also trying to find time to actually relax!

So, here’s the simple, sanity-saving method I’ve figured out to help you do exactly that, no complicated jargon, no fluff, just the good stuff.

Step 1. Quick-and-dirty authenticity audit

Grab your drink of choice (tea, coffee, wine, all three, I won’t judge) and spend ten minutes scribbling answers to these:

• What am I doing right now in my business that feels really good and aligned with who I actually am?

• And honestly now, what feels off, exhausting or just plain wrong?

(Bonus points if you do this with your feet up and your phone on silent)

Step 2. Spot the mismatch

Find the gaps between what feels right (you being you) and what feels wrong (you trying to be someone else). Are you forcing a fake personality on social media? Saying ‘yes’ to clients who drain your energy because you feel you have to?

Name these things out loud. You’ll feel better instantly, pinky promise :-)

Step 3. Rewrite your story (but make it yours)

Forget glossy elevator pitches or LinkedIn bios that sound like someone else's CV. Write something quick, real and messy even that sounds and feels like you. Speak it out loud. If you cringe, it’s not your voice. Keep going till it feels right.

And hey, if you’re struggling to get started, why not join other women just like you in the She Roars Club, or jump into the She Roars Challenge, my free 5-day story challenge designed to help you unlock your authentic voice, figure out what really matters and finally show up as the brilliant woman you already are? (Zero gloss, plenty of laughs and no judgement guaranteed.)

Step 4. Set boundaries without apology

Think about one boundary you absolutely need. Maybe it’s no client calls after 4pm. Maybe it’s being upfront about needing longer deadlines because life happens. Maybe it’s being honest with your family that you need downtime after dinner to recharge. Maybe it’s saying no to yet another volunteer request you really don’t have bandwidth for. Whatever it is, own it unapologetically.

Remember. Boundaries aren’t selfish, they’re sanity-saving.

Step 5: Practise showing up as you (one day at a time)

Authenticity doesn’t mean oversharing or going viral with your deepest secrets. It just means being real and honest about who you are. Practise in small ways, a genuine caption on Instagram, saying no without a long-winded excuse or admitting openly you’re prioritising rest and self-care this week (Honestly, we could ALL use more examples of women doing that!).

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One last thing…

Authenticity isn’t some fluffy, nice-to-have thing. It’s also a horribly over-used word but the essence behind it - truth, reality, humanity - is so important. It genuinely makes running your business, and your life, so much easier. You spend less energy pretending, you attract clients who actually like you and suddenly, everything feels simpler.

Life’s too short to pretend to be someone else. Especially if she’s less fun and way more stressed than the real you.